It is an adventure for sure. Finding a job in good times is a game of wits, in a pandemic, it is wits and nerves combined. And then those magnified bouts of self-doubt, which are not grounded in reality yet do a number on my psyche. In no way, I am making light of the situation, as I find myself looking for work in the middle of a pandemic.
When I got the news that I was laid off, at first, I got scared and panicked. I guess it’s natural.
Then I started to work hard, updating my resume, applying, and getting my LinkedIn profile updated.
Then I applied, interviewed, and tried to look “happy” on those interviews when all I wanted to tell the interviewers was “Can’t you see, I am simply brilliant, just hire me”.
And then it sank into me that I don’t need to push against anything and what I want will show up – in time. After all, I am a hard-working professional who is confident, smart, and valuable for anyone who hires me. So, who am I proving to?
Who says people who have jobs at this time are any happier. They may be distracted as they can spend some time working and getting a paycheck. But then they are also not feeling any motivation as our perception of things is no more the same. Things like business travel, owning cars and homes, and shopping that used to boost our egos and even gave us a sense of accomplishment are of no use in these times.
Also, keeping a straight face in front of their teams, while contemplating how long you will be able to retain them or doubting how long before your bosses let you go – is not a very satisfactory working condition.
I feel we just don’t know how to be when things we feel we have control over are not going our way. And the lesson is “not to try to control everything and just BE”.
Maybe it’s about not pushing against the situation. And just Breath.
Best,
Deepika